She 

Emptiness crashes
Through her heart and soul,
And she wonders
What all the struggle
And pain is for.
She's feeling like
She's the center of a world
That isn't even hers,
That was planned for her,
That isn't what she ever wanted.
She never chose her own way;
She took the path
Others chose for her.
And, now, her self-control is
Boiling over a raging fire,
Ready to explode 
At any frustrating moment.
There's a sadness in her eyes,
A desperation in her face,
A hunger in her voice;
Look closely, and you'll see.
Everything she really wanted
For her
Seems impossible to achieve.
She's not even sure what
Those dreams were anymore.
She abandoned herself
Somewhere along that “chosen” path,
And she's alone
Even when she's surrounded
By people 
She's understood even longer
Than she knew herself.
Nothing feels right,
And nobody's there for her.
She knows that she'll never be happy
Until she finds her lost self
And her absent dreams again,
But how can she break free
When everything she has
Is supporting
All those around her?
How can she change
Anything in the
Empty life 
She built
For everyone else?

© 1995; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

The Tunnel

I've been alone for so long,
Full of loneliness,
Feeling nothing
But emptiness,
With no real path to follow.
I've been running away
From it all—
The pain,
The hurt,
The desperation,
The fear.
I've been searching
For a reason
To keep going,
To keep hoping,
To keep holding on
To a simple dream
Of truly living
In the sun.
But there was nothing,
Just this long, cold,
Dark tunnel… 
But now I see
A faint glimmer
Far in the distance.
I've paused for moment,
Staring,
Wondering,
If I should pursue it,
If it could be worth the effort,
If I could actually
Live in it,
Or if it's simply
A cruel joke.
Could it be real?
Or is it my imagination?
Slowly, 
I make my way
Toward it,
Hoping that,
This time,
My belief in myself
And in the sun
Is not misplaced.

© 2000; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

The Darkness

The darkness
Calls to me softly,
Whispers my name
With tantalizing familiarity,
Invites me into
His seductive embrace.
I try to resist,
Though I know it's useless.
He hypnotizes me
With his husky words,
His gentle breath,
His intoxicating touch.
He is my old, familiar friend,
My long-lost lover,
My eternal soulmate,
And to deny him
Is to deny
My own secret nature.
He somehow understands
My internal world
Better than I often do,
So he chuckles in bemusement
When I feebly struggle
To break free from
His magnetic pull.
Without speaking another word,
He caresses my heart
With a cool finger,
Making my body shiver
In dread
And anticipation
Of what only he can provide.
Unable to do anything else,
I surrender to his charms,
Only a whisper of uncertainty
Escaping my throat
As I fall into
His welcoming arms.

© 2006; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

The Shadow

I was born 
Of the light.
I grow as it dims,
Stretching,
Multiplying,
Claiming
Whatever remains
In my path.
I watch the light
As it dances
And follow along
As if I am
The choreographer.
I only exist
As long as the light
Carves me from the darkness.
My eternal embrace
Reflects my bond
To it.
I provide gravitas
When the light alone cannot
Supply weight,
Density,
Or complexity.
I support 
The creatures of the light,
The creatures of the night,
And all those that linger
In the in-between.
Forms of me only exist
In the physical realm as
Echoes of matter,
But those are merely
Superficial fragments
Of all that I am.
I confound
And confuse
Even as I move
For illumination
To reveal 
That which was hidden.
My whispers of truth
Can only be heard
In stillness.
My purpose is not
To frighten
Or disgust;
Rather, I protect
All that shrinks 
From the flames
Within.

© 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Life

The rhythm of life
Is
Pulsing,
Pounding,
Surrounding
Us
In a
Dark cloud
Of 
Fear and
Demons
Without remorse
For all the 
Dirty tricks
They play 
On mortal souls
With
Anger and
Forceful demands
In this
Hellhole
Called 
Life.

© 1994; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Miss Me

I hope that you miss me.
I hope that her touch
Only leaves you cold
And wanting more,
Just as his touch left me
Only longing for yours.
I hope that my memory
Haunts your sleepless nights
And that my face appears
In all your dreams,
Just as you’ve haunted me.
I hope that every time
You hear the special song
That we danced to
That you can only imagine
What it felt like
To have me in your arms,
Just as much as I long 
To be there once more.
I hope that what we once shared
Feels as strong in your heart,
As much a part of your soul
As it is mine.
I hope that nothing
And no one
Has felt as right as
The two of us together.
God, I just hope
That you miss me
Half as much
As I miss you.

© 2006; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Now

I loved you blindly,
Gave you everything,
Let you have all of me.
But, when you decided it was over,
You never even
Bothered to say goodbye.
You broke my heart,
Tore my world apart,
Ripped my soul to pieces.
And now you want to apologize?
You want to “explain what happened”
After I've finally pulled myself
Back up on my feet?
After I've actually begun to move on?
After I've gotten my life back together?
Now, the memories of us
Are starting to cloud
My thoughts again.
I thought I could love someone new,
That you were completely in my past,
But I was wrong.
The memory of you
Is haunting me still,
And I can't believe
That you could even begin
To remember me or us.
I fear that
Your “innocent” apology
Will be too much to bear,
As once again,
The pain is so deep,
So real,
So overwhelming. . .
Yet I know I must face you
If I'm ever to fully live again.
Why must you do this now,
When I'm almost over you
But I still feel enough
To bring me back
To loving you once more?
When I could actually build
A life without you,
But there's enough yearning left
To pull me back into your web?
When I'm stronger
Than the girl you used to know,
But not quite strong enough
To completely resist you?
Why must you turn my world
Upside down all over again?
Why must you do this to me now?

© 1994; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Getting to You 

I lost my trust,
My faith in myself
And in love.
My dreams were
Shattered to slivers,
Beyond all recognition.
My hope was
Crushed slowly,
Painfully.
I've been beaten,
Bruised,
Lied to,
Cheated on,
Manipulated,
And deserted.
Worthlessness,
Emptiness,
Terror,
And overwhelming pain
Have become familiar friends 
Who guided me,
Held my hand, and
Embraced me in the night.
Happiness eluded me,
Taunting me
As it pushed itself away.
But then you came to me,
Bringing your light 
To break the darkness.
Your unconditional acceptance
And complete love 
Opened my heart,
Helping it to love and trust,
Letting it experience
The real freedom of love
For the first time.
Your patience
And kindness
Opened my eyes
To what love should be,
To what forever could be,
To the light that joy can bring.
Now my days are brighter,
And my heart is yours.
My soul is free
Because of your love,
And all of the pain,
All of the humiliation,
All of the terror
Was worth it
To get to you
And your love.

© 1998; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Yours

As I sit alone,
The silence and darkness
Embrace me.
In the next room,
You lie in peaceful slumber
In my bed,
A content smile still
Lingering on your face.
I light a cigarette,
And I consider the emotions
Pounding through my heart.
Love, lust, fear—
They come to guide me.
You held my heart
Before tonight,
Before we made love,
Before you gave your
Most precious gift to me,
But now,
You shattered all of the defenses
I had left.
You've given me
The most beautiful experience
Of my life,
And now I am yours,
Always,
Forever,
Eternally.

© 1998; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Runnin' On Empty

Worn out and barely getting by,
My heart's all alone.
My body's tired to the bone.
I'm runnin' on empty,
No resources left to dig into,
Nothing else to cling to.
A dream had kept me going,
But now the fire's died,
And I'm hollow inside.
Empty, scared, and lonely,
I'm not sure how long I've got.
I need something more before I stop.
So here I am, desperately managing,
Runnin' on my desolate heart and mind,
Hopin' I'll finally find
The reason I so willingly push myself,
Never, ever looking back,
Runnin' on an empty track.

© 1993; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Revenge

Pounding,
Pounding,
Pounding!
The throbbing, pulsing, pounding pain
Just will not end.
My head and heart are killing me.
I'm exhausted to the bone,
Though the blood
Is surging through my veins.
Rage, desperation, fear—
These have kept me going,
But now they're ripping my soul to shreds.
Demons are calling to me,
Shouting my name,
Taunting me,
Screaming for me,
Desiring nothing more
Than my painful demise.
But I can't give in,
Can't give up,
Won't back down,
Until my vengeance is real.
I can't have wasted
All of these years
On something I'll never find.
My revenge will make
All of those lonely, desolate nights
Seem worthwhile.
If only the pain would stop
Pounding,
Surging,
Pulsing,
Exhausting,
Overwhelming,
Destroying
My soul.

© 1995; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Scab

I'm over you.
I really am.
I hadn't even thought about you
In so very long.
So why can't I stop now?
Why are you haunting me again?
I must have 
Ripped off the thick scab 
That somehow protected my soul,
Leaving that old wound
Exposed,
Open,
Raw,
Bleeding.
I somehow
Managed to unearth
Long-buried memories
Only to torture my heart
With still more could-have-beens
And if-onlys.
I somehow unleashed feelings
That had stayed dormant
For so long
Only to flare to life again,
Stronger,
Hotter,
Harder on my soul
Than ever before.
I haven't seen you,
Haven't spoken to you,
Haven't crossed your path
In years,
And yet the pain,
The bitterness,
The yearning
That I had thought
Long-ago dead
Is taunting me again.
Didn't I kill this demon?
Didn't I suffer enough?
Didn't I find someone new
To build my life with,
Someone I can truly love,
Someone who helped me salve
All of these wounds
Years ago?
So why am I feeling this all over again?
Why am I remembering you?
Why am I yearning for you
In a way that I can barely recall?
Why am I reliving a past
That's better left behind?
I've dealt with all of this before,
And it's unfair of Fate
To force me to feel you 
In my heart again,
Years after I've learned
To live with a scab
That can never fully heal.

© 2003; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Truth

Real truth is not gentle.
It does not offer kindness.
It will not be
A soft place to land
The first time
You discover it.
It will not hold you tenderly.
It will not tell you
That everything is fine
Unless it actually is.
Truth is sharp,
Brutal,
Bruising,
Difficult to grasp,
And has no agenda
Beyond being
What it is.
Truth does not care
About your feelings
Or the ripples of repercussions
That move with it
Throughout the rest of your life.
Truth does not pretend
To maintain the status quo.
Truth does not coddle.
Truth is stubborn.
Truth is immutable
And immovable.
You may run from it,
But you cannot hide
Once it has opened
Its ancient eyes
To gaze upon you.
All you can do
Is ride the wave,
No matter how unsteady you feel
And be grateful for every opportunity
That may be created,
For real truth
Cannot be ignored
Once it is revealed.

© 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Hushed

Hushed whispers,
Declarations of need.
Gentle caresses,
More fervent
With each passing moment.
Lips against lips.
Tongues dance longingly.
Hot breath on exposed skin.
Passion raging
Out of control.
Clothing pushed
And pulled
And torn
Until there's only
Skin against fiery skin.
Moans of urgency.
Bodies crash together,
Fusing in ecstasy.
Cries of desperation,
Of joy,
Of blissful completion.
Sighs of pleasure.
Soft kisses
And murmurs of wonder.
Hushed whispers,
Declarations of love.

© 2007; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Firefly

Lost in the wilderness,
Unable to see in the dark,
Begging the universe
For just one sign
Of something more,
I stumbled 
Into a clearing
That I could barely conceive.
A gentle breeze
Kissed my skin,
And then
I witnessed
The Dance of the Fireflies
Break through
The endless night
For the first time in…
I can say,
With complete certainty,
That length of time
Can only be measured
In decades…
Somehow,
The ballet
Was more magical
Than I’d remembered.

© 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Freedom

Love is a blatant, pathetic lie.
Life is one big, cruel joke.
Eternity will someday end.
Forever does not exist.
Time is the Joker,
And He laughs hysterically
While humanity
Desperately fights
For the freedom
We think
We somehow deserve.

© 1992; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

The Theatre

The chandelier crashes.
Flying shards
Of glinting glass
Attack the room
In a violent attempt
At discord.
The clash and bang
Shatter the silence,
Abhorring it,
Laughing in menace
At the vulnerable quiet,
Echoing in victory.
The darkness
Is overcome
By the brilliance
Of the glittering glass
Thrown about
The dusty room.
The chandelier conquers.

© 1995 Jennifer A. Hayes; © 2004 Jennifer Anne O’Bryen; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes

“Not All Men”

The train whistle sounds,
Staining the moment of silence
With disruptive toxicity.
So fucking patriarchal…
THEY are coming through,
So get out of the way
Or suffer consequences!
With the added “bonus”
Of being the biggest and strongest
Thing in motion.
At least the trains
Let you know they’re coming,
Like civilized work horses.
Men are far stealthier
And more sinister.

© 2026 Jennifer Hayes

Reconstruction

You danced around
The bonfire
And then called in
The flood
To douse it out,
But I rescued
The torch
That rose above
The waters.
You strolled through
The forest
And left the foliage
Diseased and dying,
But I pruned
The paths
And called in
The rains.
You found rocks
Near the ocean
And threw them in
As far
And as deep
As you could,
But I dove down
To retrieve
The uncut gemstones
You didn’t recognize.
You set up your office
In the middle of
The field
But I unplugged
The equipment
Long ago,
And the wheat
And wildflowers
Have reclaimed
The land.
You glimpsed my heart
And grabbed it
Before thoughtlessly
Throwing it
Into the refuse pile,
But I recaptured it
To mend the wounds.
You dazzled my body
Into unconsciousness
With your devilish smile
And then buried it,
Leaving me for dead,
But I absorbed the magick
In the soil
And rose from the grave
To live
And laugh
At your attempts
To destroy
All that you 
Do not understand.

© 2026 Jennifer Hayes

One Word

One word
Can break the silence.
One touch
Can stop the heart.
One dream
Can hold the key.
One motion
Can change minds.
One thought
Can bring tears.
One moment
Can end all time.

© 1992; © 2026 Jennifer Hayes